When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend.

When I was 16 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.

In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide.

So I decided I needed a girl with stability.

When I was 25 I found a very stable girl but she was boring.

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Posted by limpek | No Comments » | 221 views

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance — particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0, NBA 3.0, Nascar 2.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I’ve tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate

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Posted by limpek | No Comments » | 118 views

I swear i won’t ever get so drunk to the point of sleeping in a totally embarrassing position. Hahaha…

Why is being drunk funny? To me they just look sad and pathetic.

It is really amazing what alcohol does to people. There are some really funny drunk pictures on here to check them out.

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Posted by limpek | No Comments » | 440 views

These cemetery design come in many different shapes and sizes. Here you can get to see the professional cemetery pictures. Let’s have a view on these.

The motorcycle headstones - Odds are those people died in crashes. I wonder how the family feels about motorcycles when they visit the grave.

The one with the couple laying in bed was pretty touching, assuming a couple is buried under.

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Posted by limpek | No Comments » | 232 views

Teacher vs Student

Teacher: Maria, go to the map and find North America ..
Maria: Here it is.
Teacher: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
Class: Maria.

Teacher: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
John: You told me to do it without using tables.

Teacher: Glenn, how do you spell ‘crocodile?’
Glenn: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L’
Teacher: No, that’s wrong
Glenn: May be it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

Teacher: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
Donald: H I J K L M N O.
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Donald: Yesterday you said it’s H to O.

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Posted by limpek | No Comments » | 181 views