Do you know what it’s like to lose your mobile phone? I bet you would feel similar to the way that you unexpected. So, don’t lose your phone.
MAN: “Hello?”
WOMAN: “Honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?”
MAN: “Yes.”
WOMAN: “I’m at the shops now and found this beautiful leather coat.
It’s only 500. Is it okay if I buy it?”
MAN: “Sure, go ahead if you like it that much.”
WOMAN: “Oh, thanks so very much. I also stopped by the Mercedes garage
this morning and saw the new models. There was one I really, really
liked.”
(more…)
Posted by limpek |
No Comments » | 827 views
Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance — particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0, NBA 3.0, Nascar 2.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I’ve tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate
(more…)
Posted by limpek |
No Comments » | 493 views
Teacher vs Student
Teacher: Maria, go to the map and find North America ..
Maria: Here it is.
Teacher: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
Class: Maria.
Teacher: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
John: You told me to do it without using tables.
Teacher: Glenn, how do you spell ‘crocodile?’
Glenn: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L’
Teacher: No, that’s wrong
Glenn: May be it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
Teacher: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
Donald: H I J K L M N O.
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Donald: Yesterday you said it’s H to O.
(more…)
Posted by limpek |
No Comments » | 808 views
A man went to the police station to file a report regarding his missing wife:
Man: I lost my wife.
Inspector: What is her height?
Man: I never noticed.
Inspector: Slim or chubby?
Man: Not slim, can be chubby.
Inspector: Color of eyes?
Man: Never noticed.
Inspector: Color of hair?
Man: Changes according to the season.
Inspector: What was she wearing?
Man: Saree/suit, I don’t remember exactly.
(more…)
Posted by limpek |
No Comments » | 764 views
An Indonesian, a Bangladeshi and a Malaysian are in a bar one night having a beer.
The Indonesian finishes his beer and suddenly throws his glass in the air,pulls out a gun and shoots the glass to pieces.
He says, “In Jakarta our glasses are so cheap that we don’t need to drink from the same one twice.”
The Bangladeshi obviously impressed by this, drinks his beer, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the glass to pieces.
He says, “In Dhaka we have so much sand to make the glasses that we don’t need to drink out of the same glass twice either.”
Do you know how the Malaysian react? Really funny one…
(more…)
Posted by limpek |
5 Comments » | 1,515 views