Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance — particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0, NBA 3.0, Nascar 2.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I’ve tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate
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Posted by limpek |
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Teacher vs Student
Teacher: Maria, go to the map and find North America ..
Maria: Here it is.
Teacher: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
Class: Maria.
Teacher: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
John: You told me to do it without using tables.
Teacher: Glenn, how do you spell ‘crocodile?’
Glenn: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L’
Teacher: No, that’s wrong
Glenn: May be it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
Teacher: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
Donald: H I J K L M N O.
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Donald: Yesterday you said it’s H to O.
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Posted by limpek |
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A man went to the police station to file a report regarding his missing wife:
Man: I lost my wife.
Inspector: What is her height?
Man: I never noticed.
Inspector: Slim or chubby?
Man: Not slim, can be chubby.
Inspector: Color of eyes?
Man: Never noticed.
Inspector: Color of hair?
Man: Changes according to the season.
Inspector: What was she wearing?
Man: Saree/suit, I don’t remember exactly.
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Posted by limpek |
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An Indonesian, a Bangladeshi and a Malaysian are in a bar one night having a beer.
The Indonesian finishes his beer and suddenly throws his glass in the air,pulls out a gun and shoots the glass to pieces.
He says, “In Jakarta our glasses are so cheap that we don’t need to drink from the same one twice.”
The Bangladeshi obviously impressed by this, drinks his beer, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the glass to pieces.
He says, “In Dhaka we have so much sand to make the glasses that we don’t need to drink out of the same glass twice either.”
Do you know how the Malaysian react? Really funny one…
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Posted by limpek |
5 Comments » | 566 views
Teacher: Ah Kau, if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, how much would your father still have?
Ah Kau: $10.
Teacher: You don’t know Maths.
Ah Kau: You don’t know my father la…
Mother: David, come here.
David: Yes, mum.
Mother: You really disappoint me. Your results are getting worse.
David: But but but… I will only get my report card tomorrow?
Mother: I know that, but I’m going to Hong Kong tomorrow, so I’m scolding you now.
Father: Why did you fail your Mathematics Test?
Son: On Monday, teacher said 3 + 5 = 8.
Father: So?
Son: On Tuesday, she said 4 + 4 = 8.
On Wednesday, she said 6 + 2 = 8.
If she can’t make up her mind, how do I know which is the right answer one?
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Posted by limpek |
13 Comments » | 1,112 views