Teacher: Ah Kau, if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, how much would your father still have?
Ah Kau: $10.
Teacher: You don’t know Maths.
Ah Kau: You don’t know my father la…

Mother: David, come here.
David: Yes, mum.
Mother: You really disappoint me. Your results are getting worse.
David: But but but… I will only get my report card tomorrow?
Mother: I know that, but I’m going to Hong Kong tomorrow, so I’m scolding you now.

Father: Why did you fail your Mathematics Test?
Son: On Monday, teacher said 3 + 5 = 8.
Father: So?
Son: On Tuesday, she said 4 + 4 = 8.
On Wednesday, she said 6 + 2 = 8.
If she can’t make up her mind, how do I know which is the right answer one?
(more…)

Posted by limpek | 13 Comments » | 3,527 views

A guy goes to the post office to apply for a new job.

The interviewer: “Have you been in the service?”

The guy: “Yes, I was in the armed forces for 3 years.”

The interviewer: “That will give you extra points toward employment” and then asks, “Are you disabled in any way?”

(more…)

Posted by limpek | 14 Comments » | 1,200 views

1.

Teacher: Are you good at math?
Student: Yes and no

Teacher: What do you mean?
Student: Yes, I’m no good at math !!!

2.

Teacher: If 1+1=2 and 2+2=4, what is 4+4?
Student: That’s not fair you answer the easy ones and leave us with the hard one !!!

3.

Teacher: Now class, whatever I ask, I want you to all answer at once. How much is six plus 4?
Class: At once !!!

4.

Teacher: Can you count to 10?
Fred: Yes, teacher-one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

Teacher: Now go on from there.
Fred: Jack, Queen, King.

(more…)

Posted by limpek | 11 Comments » | 1,078 views

Q: What is the similarity between men and rats?
A: Both keep searching for new holes.

Q: What is the closest thing similar to a woman’s period?
A: Your salary, it comes once a month lasts about 5 days and if it doesn’t come, it means you are in big trouble.

Q: What’s the difference between biology and sociology?
A: When the baby looks like his dad or mom, then it is biology. When the baby looks like the neighbor, then it is sociology.

(more…)

Posted by limpek | 13 Comments » | 1,666 views

Driver: Nak ke mana cik?

Penumpang: Saya nak ke bandar Georgetown. Dekat jer, rumah saya kat Jalan Puki Mak U Lah…

Driver: Cik, kita ni orang Melayu. Tak boleh ke gunakan bahasa yang lebih sopan.

Penumpang: Nak sopan macam mana lagi bang. Dah memang itu nama jalannya.

Driver: %$#@&*

Posted by limpek | 1 Comment » | 791 views