The lesson is about shapes and colours, so the teacher decide to play a guessing game with her 3 year old pupils.
She held something behind her back and asked,
“I have something behind me, and i want you students to guess what it is i’m holding to. It’s something you eat, it is round and red in colour…”

One of the students answered,
“It’s an apple!”
“No,it’s not an apple, but a tomato. But i like the way you think..” said the teacher.

Again she held another object behind and asked,
“This is also something you would eat, it’s yellow and round at the bottom of it…”

Another student answered,
“It’s a pear!”
“Wrong again children, it’s actually an onion, but i like the way you think.” said the teacher.

(more…)

Posted by limpek | No Comments » | 53 views

There are two nuns. One of them is known as Sister Mathematical (SM) and the other one is known as Sister Logical (SL). It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.

SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past 38 and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.

SL: It’s logical. He wants to rape us.

SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most.What can we do?

SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.

SM: It’s not working

SL: Of course it’s not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster too.

SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.

SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I’ll go this way. He cannot follow us both.

So the man decided to follow Sister Logical. Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried what has happened to Sister Logical.

Then Sister Logical arrives…

SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened!

SL: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn’t follow us both, so he followed me.

SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?

(more…)

Posted by limpek | 1 Comment » | 159 views

A supporter arrived at the ground one Saturday to find the place completely empty. He went to the office and asked an official,

‘What time does the match start?’

‘There’s no match today,’ replied the official.

‘But there must be!’ argued the fan. ‘It’s Saturday.’

‘I’m telling you there’s no match today,’ repeated the official.

‘But there’s always a match on Saturday afternoon,’ said the fan, ‘even if it’s only a reserves game.’

‘Watch my lips,’ shouted the irate official. ‘There is no M-A-T-F-C-H today!’

‘Well, for your information,’ the would-be spectator shouted back, ‘there’s no F in match.’,

‘That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you!’ yelled the official.

Posted by limpek | 1 Comment » | 165 views

Mei Mei was a prostitute, but she didn’t want her grandma to know.

One day, the police raided a whole group of prostitutes at a sex party in a hotel, and Mei Mei was among them.

The police took them outside and had all the prostitutes line up along the driveway when suddenly, Mei Mei’s grandma came by and saw her granddaughter.

Grandma asked, “Why are you standing in line here, dear?” Not willing to let her grandmother know the truth, Mei Mei told her grandmother that the policemen were there passing out free oranges and she was just lining up for some.

(more…)

Posted by limpek | No Comments » | 268 views

What is a CAT?

1. Cats do what they want.
2. They rarely listen to you.
3. They’re totally unpredictable.
4. When you want to play, they want to be alone.
5. When you want to be alone, they want to play.
6. They expect you to cater to their every whim.
7. They’re moody.
8. They leave hair everywhere.
CONCLUSION: They’re tiny women in little fur coats.

(more…)

Posted by limpek | 1 Comment » | 223 views