I am Peter Stuyvesant
I have two friends, Benson and Hedges
I came from the city of Marlboro,
In the Salem High country
I always carry a MildSeven
I rode on a White Horse
Going to Kingsway in Kent
It was Lucky Strike I fell in love
With the daughter of Master Duke
Her name was YSL
We got married by Perillys, the priest
We checked in at the house of Dunhill
And booked into room number 555
I laid her on the bed made of Gold Leaf
I played with her two Matterhorns
When I poked in my Rothmans King Size
She cried in delight, “You are a Rough Rider!!!”
You are riding like a mad Camel
When I asked her if she is satisfied
She answered” I want MORE!!!!”
Then suddenly she turned around and asked me if I want to
enter her Gudang Garam.
She said… depan belakang puas, barulah Sampoerna!!

Posted by limpek | No Comments » | 262 views

A husband and wife are lying down on their bed. The husband is reading a book. The wife simply lies next to him. The husband pulls up his wife’s nightie. Every five minutes, he touches her vagina and continues reading. The wife gets up and starts undressing.

The husband asks - ” What are you doing ? ”
The wife replies - ” You kept touching between my legs. I thought you were in the mood and wanted sex. So, I am un-dressing ! ”

The husband replies - ” Don’t be silly. I was simply wetting my fingers, to be able to turn the pages of this book ! “

Posted by limpek | No Comments » | 257 views

Boss: We need to refill this manager slot quickly due to the manager’s last minute resignation.

Secretary: We have 300 resumes over here. Shall I start calling them for interview now?

Boss: Yes please, but discard the top 250 and call only the bottom 50.

Secretary: I don’t understand. There could be potential candidates on the 250 resumes you wan to discard!

Boss: Yes, you have a point. But once again, i don’t need unlucky people in this company!

Posted by limpek | No Comments » | 183 views

MAGIC 1
An Indian found that nobody can create a FOLDER anywhere on the Computer which can be named as “CON“. This is something funny and inexplicable. At Microsoft the whole Team, couldn’t answer why this happened!

TRY IT NOW, IT WILL NOT CREATE A “CON” FOLDER

MAGIC 2 (For XP or earlier)
For those of you using Windows, do the following:
1. Open an empty notepad file
2. Type “Bush hid the facts” (without the quotes)
3. Save it as whatever you want.
4. Close it, and re-open it.
Noticed the weird bug? No one can explain!

(more…)

Posted by limpek | No Comments » | 396 views

Dear IT Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, but installed undesirable programs such as Formula One 5.0, NBA 3.0, Premier League, Counter-Strike and World Cup 2.0.

And now Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.
I’ve tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate

======================================================

Reply:

(more…)

Posted by limpek | No Comments » | 289 views