Mar
22nd

Gift for Mom

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Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful doctors and lawyers and prospered.

Some years later, they chatted after having dinner together. They discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother who lived far away in another city.

The first said, “I had a big house built for Mama.”

The second said, ” I had a hundred thousand dollar theater built in the house.”

The third said, “I had my Mercedes dealer deliver an SL600 to her.”

The fourth said, “You know how Mama loved reading the Bible and you know

she can’t read anymore because she can’t see very well. I met this preacher who told me about a parrot that can recite the entire bible. It took twenty preachers 12 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute $100,000 a year for twenty years to the church, but it was worth it. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot will recite it.”

The other brothers were impressed.

After the holidays Mom sent out her Thank You notes.

(more…)

Mar
16th

Variations of Mathematics in Daily Use

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Man and Woman Relationship

Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

Office Arithmetic

Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

(more…)

Mar
12th

Buying Condom

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A man walks into a pharmacy, buys a condom, then walks out of the store laughing hysterically. The pharmacist thinks this is weird, but, hey, there’s
no law preventing weird people from buying condoms. Maybe it’s a good thing.

The next day, the man comes back to the store, purchases another condom, and once again he leaves the store laughing wildly. This piques the interest of the pharmacist. What’s so funny about buying a rubber, anyway?

So he tells his clerk, “If this guy ever comes back, I want you to follow him to see where he goes.”

Sure enough, the next day the laugher is back. He buys the condom, starts cracking up, then leaves. The pharmacist tells his clerk to go follow the
guy.

About an hour later, the clerk comes back to the store.
“Did you follow him? Where did he go?” asks the pharmacist.
The clerk replies “Your house.”

Mar
6th

Time To Relax

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NAMES OF WIVES
A malay man had 4 wives, and he called his…
4th wife….. baby doll
3rd wife…..china doll
2nd wife…..barbie doll
1st wife….. panadol !

ARAB MAN
An arab was being interviewed at a US checkpoint.
‘Your name pls.’?
“Abdul Aziz ”
“Sex? ”
“Six times a week!! ”
“No, no, I mean male or female! ”
“Doesn’t matters, sometimes even camel !”

GOOD AMBITION
Teacher: What do you want to become?
Little Johnny: Doctor !!
Teacher: Why?
Little Johnny: Coz its the only profession where u
can tell a woman to take off her clothes and ask her husband to pay for
it.

(more…)

Mar
3rd

New Modern Medicine Found

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A doctor from Israel says:
“In Israel the medicine is so advanced that we cut-off a man´s testicles, we put it into another man and in 6 weeks he is looking for work”

The German doctor comments:
“That´s nothing, in Germany we take part of the brain out from a person, we put it into another person´s head and in 4 weeks he is looking for work”

A Russian doctor says:
That’s nothing either. In Russia we take half of the heart out from a person, we put it into another person´s chest and in 2 weeks he is looking for work.

The Malaysian doctor answers immediately: That´s nothing colleagues, you are way behind us….in Malaixia (a year-plus ago)

we grabbed a person with no brains, no heart and no balls….we put him as Prime Minister and now….the whole country is looking for work!