A supporter arrived at the ground one Saturday to find the place completely empty. He went to the office and asked an official,

‘What time does the match start?’

‘There’s no match today,’ replied the official.

‘But there must be!’ argued the fan. ‘It’s Saturday.’

‘I’m telling you there’s no match today,’ repeated the official.

‘But there’s always a match on Saturday afternoon,’ said the fan, ‘even if it’s only a reserves game.’

‘Watch my lips,’ shouted the irate official. ‘There is no M-A-T-F-C-H today!’

‘Well, for your information,’ the would-be spectator shouted back, ‘there’s no F in match.’,

‘That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you!’ yelled the official.