A husband and wife are lying down on their bed. The husband is reading a book. The wife simply lies next to him. The husband pulls up his wife’s nightie. Every five minutes, he touches her vagina and continues reading. The wife gets up and starts undressing.
The husband asks - ” What are you doing ? ”
The wife replies - ” You kept touching between my legs. I thought you were in the mood and wanted sex. So, I am un-dressing ! ”
The husband replies - ” Don’t be silly. I was simply wetting my fingers, to be able to turn the pages of this book ! “
Posted by limpek |
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Boss: We need to refill this manager slot quickly due to the manager’s last minute resignation.
Secretary: We have 300 resumes over here. Shall I start calling them for interview now?
Boss: Yes please, but discard the top 250 and call only the bottom 50.
Secretary: I don’t understand. There could be potential candidates on the 250 resumes you wan to discard!
Boss: Yes, you have a point. But once again, i don’t need unlucky people in this company!
Posted by limpek |
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MAGIC 1
An Indian found that nobody can create a FOLDER anywhere on the Computer which can be named as “CON“. This is something funny and inexplicable. At Microsoft the whole Team, couldn’t answer why this happened!
TRY IT NOW, IT WILL NOT CREATE A “CON” FOLDER
MAGIC 2 (For XP or earlier)
For those of you using Windows, do the following:
1. Open an empty notepad file
2. Type “Bush hid the facts” (without the quotes)
3. Save it as whatever you want.
4. Close it, and re-open it.
Noticed the weird bug? No one can explain!
(more…)
Posted by limpek |
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Dear IT Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, but installed undesirable programs such as Formula One 5.0, NBA 3.0, Premier League, Counter-Strike and World Cup 2.0.
And now Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.
I’ve tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate
======================================================
Reply:
(more…)
Posted by limpek |
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2 nude statues man n woman are built staring at each other in front of a pretty little garden. One day an angel comes down n turn them into real life humans.
“Do whatever u want to do! You have 30mins!” said the angel.
Excited, the 2 nude man n woman ran over to the bushes and there were sounds and movements all over the bushes. After 15min, they came out laughing and tired.
“You 2 still have 15min more to go” reminded the angel.
the male statue turns to the female n say “you wanna do it again?”
“Yes please. But this time i get to hold the bird’s leg and you poop on its head” answered the woman.
Posted by limpek |
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